Blond Joke Thread

lonewolfz28 · Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 9:39 am Post subject:

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
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Socially distancing since 1970.

Becky · Esteemed member Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1557

Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?
A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.
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goobee · Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 6:19 pm Post subject:

Two blondes are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away.

He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end." The buddy gets exasperated and says "You idiot, those are for the other side of the house!
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goobee · Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 12:02 am Post subject:

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
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goobee · Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 7:36 pm Post subject:

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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goobee · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:45 pm Post subject:

An Irishman, a Mexican and, a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have iven it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
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goobee · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:52 am Post subject:

A blonde girl came home from college one day and told her mother that a boy had paid her a dollar to climb up a ladder and get his ball from off the roof.
"You silly girl," her mother said, "he just wanted you to climb the ladder so he could look up your skirt and see your undies."

The next day the same little girl came home from college and told her mother that the same boy gave her a dollar again to climb a ladder and get his ball off the roof. Just before her mother could admonish her for being silly, the little girl said, "No mum, this time I tricked him. I wasn't wearing any undies!"
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goobee · Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:09 pm Post subject:

I was sitting next to a blonde and she was reading the newspaper. I glanced over and one of the headlines read "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".
She was shaking her head at the news. She turned to me and asked "How many is a Brazilian?"
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Becky · Esteemed member Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1557

A brazilian is more than a million, right? Yellow Razz

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goobee · Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject:

lonewolfz28 · Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 5:31 am Post subject:

lost · Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 9:48 am Post subject:

Becky · Esteemed member Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 1557

lonewolfz28 · Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:45 am Post subject:

lonewolfz28 · Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:47 am Post subject: